Setting Healthy Boundaries during the Holidays

The holiday season is often portrayed as joyful, warm and full of time spent with our loved ones. But for many people, it isn’t. In fact, for most, the holidays bring a lot of baggage, including stress, emotional exhaustion, financial pressure and complicated family dynamics. 

That’s why, especially during the holidays, it’s essential that we establish boundaries.

What are boundaries?

A boundary is a limit you set to protect your energy and behaviors. It is about what you do, not about controlling how others behave. 

For example, a boundary is not: “You can’t talk about politics.”
A boundary is: “If the conversation turns political, I will step away or change the subject.”

Boundaries like these allow you to stay connected with family while still honoring your needs. Boundaries are always useful, but they’re especially helpful during the holiday season. Here are some of the most common boundaries that people use during the festivities.

Limiting attendance at each event

It’s normal to want to attend all of the holiday gatherings you're invited to. A boundary you can use to help manage attending all of the events is limiting the time you spend at each gathering. That way, you can enjoy the time spent with family and friends, but also have enough time to reset and recharge before going to another party. 

By limiting time at each one, you also give yourself enough time to put together any gifts or items you’re bringing. That way, you aren’t left feeling frazzled or rushed.

Choosing not to discuss certain topics

You can simply say: “I’d rather not talk about that.”

Whether it’s politics, your relationship status, or anything else that may feel uncomfortable to talk about. You’re not obligated to talk about things just because it’s the holidays or because your whole family is together. Instead, you can politely change the subject and choose your peace over proving a point to family members.

Taking a break

Yes, you can still take a moment for yourself even if you’re visiting family that you haven’t seen in a while, or even if you’re hosting the party at your house. Taking a walk, stepping outside, or going into a room for a few quick breaths can help you gather your thoughts and feelings.

Setting financial boundaries

Finances can be a major source of holiday stress. You’re allowed to stick to a budget, choose to give smaller items,  and offer other ways to contribute to gatherings that don’t overextend your finances.

Why boundaries matter during the holidays

Without boundaries, resentment, exhaustion and guilt often follow. By having boundaries for yourself, you can show up fully while having supportive, healthier relationships with friends and family.

However, setting boundaries can be anxiety-inducing, especially when it’s around family. That’s why at Broward Therapists, our highly trained counselors can help you learn to identify your needs and boundaries while teaching you how to communicate them effectively. If you’re ready to take the next step forward, reach out to us to find the support and guidance you’re looking for.